Have YOURSELF A Merry...

In my workshops and in private sessions, my clients and I spend a lot of time talking about being true to you when it comes to demands on your time and emotional resources. 

What you say “yes” to can affect how you experience life. This is so true for this time of year with all of the invitations and required appearances. It is so important to say “yes” to the important, life-giving requests that you can reasonably accommodate. Conversely, it is also important to say “no” to those things that you find draining or downright painful.

It is critical to listen to your inner voice, pray about what to agree to and what to decline. Being a martyr, trying to do everything for everybody, might only make you mean not merry. Trust me; you deserve to enjoy the holidays just as much as anyone else does.

Here are some tips for getting through the holidays peacefully.

  • Schedule pockets of quiet time and self-care. Put them on your calendar so you don’t forget, and do not change them. When someone asks you to do something during your scheduled self-care time, it is fine to say “I have something else scheduled at that time.”
  • Say “yes” to only the things that you can manage to do. Having to back out later will make you feel guilty and like you let people down.
  • Be okay with “good.” Killing yourself trying to make things perfect will wear you down and keep you tired and frustrated. Everything does not have to be perfect to be good.
  • Adjust your sense of priority. Consider the “must haves” versus the “nice to haves.” Be honest and pare your lists down accordingly.
  • Take time to remember the meaning of the season. This season is about God’s amazing love and spreading joy. Don’t let the meaning be hijacked.
  • Cherish the time spent with those who bring you life and joy. Get together with your inner circle just to have fun and de-stress.
  • Choose fun over duty where you can. Fun will refresh your mind and lighten your heart.
  • Remember to laugh! Some of the best stories to be handed down will be those times when things went awry and you managed to laugh rather than get upset.

This is a special time of year. Be sure to make great memories, be kind to those around you, and take time to be awestruck in the simple things.


May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope;

The spirit of Christmas which is peace;

The heart of Christmas which is love.

~Ada V. Hendricks

Gina Pollard

Grief and Trauma Recovery Coach, Life Transitions Coach